Getting down to Brass Tax

Well this is depressing...

2009-09-07T09:45:00.002-04:00

Wow it is all doom and gloom for American orchestras these days.... I would highly encourage you to check out this post from bassist Jason Heath's Arts Addict blog.

Also, if you are interested in seeing more of the Bobby McFerrin panel that I posted yesterday, the whole panel discussion from the World Science Festival is available here. It gets a little too neuroscientific for my tastes, but if you are into that sort of thing, it might be right up your alley. And since Bobby McFerrin is my new hero, I watched it.

We had our first professional development for my job as a teaching artist a few days ago. I have tons of things on my mind concerning arts education, and I'm trying to come up with my year-long plan. If any of you have any resources for kids songs about learning names, I'd love to hear 'em!

Oh, and Happy Labor Day.

2009-09-06T10:59:00.001-04:00

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

I came, I saw, I... got my check back

2009-09-06T10:05:00.003-04:00

Hello Reader(s)!

And now for the exciting conclusion to my previous post on my personal audition policies. Or at the very least, a play-by-play of the audition.

So I showed up-- had I not been talking to my friend who just moved to Philly on the way up there, I might have just turned around. As it was, the conversation kept me distracted enough that by the time our conversation was over, it was too late to turn back.

I showed up and recognized a few people, which was good. I didn't want to have to sit in misery-- since I wasn't taking the audition terribly seriously, I thought it best that I catch up with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. As a general rule, I'm not too chatty at auditions. I'm there to win a job, not friends. The inevitable conversations or friendly chatting is alright with me, but sometimes I see people who can't distinguish the audition from the social event after it is over. But I digress. This time, I didn't mind being social. I wasn't there to win, I just wanted my check back.

Even though it was after 9 pm, they were still running late. I finally played my first round, though-- exposition of Mozart 4, Mahler 1 (the low thing in the 4th horn), and the opening call of Beethoven 7 (first horn.) Here's what I appreciated about this list: It was very short. Here's what I didn't appreciate about this list: Popping out pedal Fs and then having to play high B's not even a minute later is not cool. Auditions are usually completely unrealistic-- first of all, it is REALLY rare that you would have to play alone on a stage. Second, you would never have to play Mozart 4, Tchaik 5, Til, Mahler 3, and Tchaik 4 on the same concert. Again, I digress.

So from the first round, they were taking people into consideration for both principal and 4th horn. I advanced for both jobs. Now, regardless of being offered a job or not, I'd like to remind you that I can only make it to exactly one of their five concert series this year, and I have no intention of playing with the orchestra. I decided to play the second round and see.

Second round began with 4th horn. I played a very short Haydn excerpt followed by something... I can't honestly remember what.... I guess it went pretty well.

I waited around and played the principal horn second round, which was Til followed by a Prokofiev excerpt. It was a little underinspired, but it wasn't awful.

When we had finally all played, the personnel manager told us that he would EMAIL US the results. While this is a little nonstandard, it should be mentioned that it was 11 pm, and at least they didn't make us play again. However, I'd like to go on record right now that if that was the audition time that they had, then they should have made us play another round if they thought it was necessary to declare ONE winner. I looked for the personnel manager to tell him to take me out of consideration, as I'm only available for one show this year, but he was nowhere to be found and I wasn't about to bust into the hall where they were deliberating.

By the time I got home (after midnight), there was an email waiting for me telling me that there were two "finalists" for each job and an alternate. I was a "finalist" for the 4th horn job. They wanted each of us to play a concert series with the orchestra and THEN they would decide who they wanted. The alternate was "in case they couldn't fulfill their duties." So I wrote back to the personnel manager and politely told him that there was no way in hell I could make it work, and they would be better off asking the alternate to "fulfull my duties."

I think it is incredibly important for an orchestra to try out candidates in the context of the orchestra, but that is for orchestra that play more than SIX WEEKS A YEAR and that pay more than $2000 a year. If this ensemble can't make their minds up, they need to revise their committee, set clearer standards, and stop being wishy washy. Two finalists? Really?

At least I got my deposit check back.

Audition Policies

2009-09-01T10:39:00.003-04:00

So I have these policies for myself for auditions--

1) Don't go to an audition for which I am not prepared. To me, at this point, there is little reason to go to an audition if I'm not going to prepare for it. "Winging it" doesn't really teach me anything except how well I can wing it.

2) Don't go to an audition where, if you were to win, you have no intention of taking the job. First off, I am not so competitive that I have to win just for the sake of winning.* Second, it wastes everyone's time-the committee, the other auditionees, those running the audition- everyone.

3) Don't go to an audition "for the experience." I'm nearly 30. I have been to countless auditions. I don't need "the experience" anymore.

So I'm going to an audition tonight that violates pretty much all of my rules for myself. I'm completely unprepared because my friend got married this past weekend and I didn't pick up my horn for a few days, let alone think about excerpts. I have no intention of taking this gig even if it was miraculously offered to me-- it is quite far, not a good orchestra, and has tons of conflicts with gigs I already have lined up for the season. And the reason I decided to go was so that I could ramp myself up for an audition in October that I'm incredibly excited about. Essentially, I'm just going for the experience.

So why go, you ask? Well, the cancellation date was the 21st of August and I want to get my deposit check back or I'll have to forfeit $50. It is September, there's not much work this month, and I can't really afford to suck up that much money. So I'll drive the hour, get my check, and, well, I might as well take my horn and see what happens....

But I don't think it'll be good...

*That is a lie. I like winning. Who doesn't?

Getting BACK to Brass Tax

2009-08-31T22:15:00.003-04:00

So I let the blog go. (Lets face it, so did most of you.) But I have been meaning to pick it back up, particularly as the summer draws to a close and the school year is about to begin again, I have a lot on my mind. I've been spending time thinking about the divide between art and entertainment, how to best teach kids music, songs of social justice, auditioning for orchestras, the accessibility of opera, and how to beef up my high range.

And I've also been thinking about how I am going to leave my mark on the world. If I was going to win a big job, lets be honest, it probably would have happened by now. And some days, I'm not even sure why I want an orchestra job. Freelancing has its advantages, especially for someone like me who doesn't feel particularly attached to the idea of a steady income or benefits. (Not that I'd turn either down, but I'm doing okay so far, right?)

And teaching is great, but I far prefer the moniker of "teaching artist" to that of "music teacher." And while I enjoy the one-on-one interaction of teaching horn lessons, lets face it: horn students aren't exactly busting down the door.

I have visions of starting my own chamber group, but finding the right people proves to be a problem a lot of the time. Music is rarely the problem-- it usually boils down to personality conflicts.

So I want to start a podcast. And I've actually recorded a few, I just need to get myself together to learn how to post such a thing. As it turns out, I know lots of cool people who like to talk about the various stuff they do. My friend A. is my first guest-- he's an incredibly talented music teacher in the Pittsburgh area. And he tells a funny story about people who dress up like furry animals. (It's a little off topic but I laughed.) My next guest is J., who has lots of information about what it is actually like to serve on various orchestra committees. (Some of it is very interesting, and some of it, as you might guess, is a bit dry.) But here's the thing: Not a lot of this information is out there for those who are looking for it. And I need a side project, so podcasting it is! (Just as soon as I figure out how to post it...)

But I'm thinking that if I put it out here for you to see, maybe y'all will badger me to actually do it? Maybe I won't make a promise I can't keep? Maybe you'll all listen to it and give me constructive feedback? Maybe I'll make a link to this on my Facebook page and you'll actually know I have a blog? Maybe I'll sign up for Twitter so you can follow me and I'll tell you when I post my new podcasts every week (?). Okay, Twitter might be a bit ambitious. Maybe not. We'll see.

So what do you want to know?

yes. YOU. can.

2008-11-05T00:45:00.005-05:00

I know I've been lax on posting lately, but, ironically, that's a post for a different time.

I've been doing a lot of teaching. Not teaching the privileged white suburbanites, but teaching the underprivileged inner-city kids. In North Philadelphia and Camden (which I affectionately refer to as "East Philadelphia.")

Lets be blunt: I teach black kids.

So tonight, for the first time in my life or theirs, I can look them in the eye and tell them that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up.

They can be a teacher or a musician; a firefighter or a florist; a cop or a stockbroker.

Or hell, kids, you can be president. Yes we can!? No:

Yes YOU can.

You can be anything you want to be. And I can look you in the face as a white girl and mean it. With evidence to back it up.

New Freelancing Rules

2008-07-19T12:30:00.003-04:00

I know, I know, its been, like, a million years since I last blogged. Maybe some of you are even still reading. Anyway, things have been going well here in the Illadelphia. Basically, I have nothing to complain about except the blistering heat. But everyone's complaining about that, so I don't have to. And anyway, I have an air conditioner in my room so even that complaint doesn't really hold that much water. And I could complain about gas prices, too, but everyone's doing that, too, so the best I can do is put on my walkin' shoes and not get in my car whenever possible.

I read an article on Jason Heath's Bass Blog a few weeks ago titled "Twelve Tips for Freelance Musicians." Its a great article and I basically agree with everything on there, but I do have a few things to add that might seem like no-brainers, but came in SERIOUSLY handy recently.

1) Keep your gas tank full. Or, at the very least, never let your car get to the point where you are "running on fumes." Personally, I just hate stopping at the pump. I hate all the money I'm pouring into my gas tank, and I don't like taking the time out of my day. (Luckily, I drive through New Jersey a lot where it is illegal to pump your own gas!) But I have been known to get into those sticky situations where I'm driving around frantically hoping to find a gas station before I run out of gas. I also frequently get home at night, notice the gas tank is painfully low and say "I'll just get gas on my way out tomorrow."

So filling your tank serves (at least) two useful purposes: (a) Running out of gas on the way to a gig would seriously suck. (b) If the Philadelphia Orchestra calls you and asks if you can be at the Mann Center in 20 minutes, you don't have to worry about whether your car has gas or not.

2) If your horn needs minor repairs, don't put it off. You don't want to show up with a horn that's buzzing from two broken braces that you just haven't had the time or inclination to take to a competent repair person to have fixed. This sounds a little dumb, but keep your instrument in top condition at all times, even in the summer when you might not be playing as much.

3) Keep your chops in shape. Whatever that might mean for you... If you are one of those lucky individuals who can take two weeks off, then pick up the horn and play the Long Call 14 times in a row, then more power to you. I happen to know that I am not one of those people, though, and I have a fairly long warm-up and "maintenance" routine.

If you are a lucky freelancer who can plan out your schedule for an entire season before it even begins, you can easily see what major works are coming up and you can plan for the kinds of playing that you'll be doing. But if you are still rocking out on the 11:30 a.m. calls that go something like this "Can you be here in 20 minutes?" "Sure!", it is comforting to know that you've been practicing your scales and you're competent enough to play assistant (or 4th, or principal, or kazoo) on anything.

4) Also, if you keep your clothing in a locker at a hall somewhere, make sure that you at least have a backup pair of shoes at home.

I'm going to TRY to blog more often, but its so damn hot its hard to do anything, let alone string words together in sentences. Happy summer, y'all!

It seemed like an okay idea at the time

2008-04-10T22:52:00.006-04:00

Today was one of those beautiful spring days when the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, and the air is clean and fresh. So as I set off to my teaching gig (at an after-school program in Camden, NJ) I was trying to think of how I could incorporate this beautiful weather with my teaching. I arrived a little bit early and as I was sitting out in the school yard, I had what I thought was a brilliant idea. Well, perhaps not brilliant, but at least okay. I'd split the kids into two groups and have them compose a piece of music using just the items they would have at their disposal in on the playground. I realized I'd have to put some limitations on it, so I came up with what I thought were some pretty great ground rules.

We gathered inside in the classroom and I set up what we were going to do. First, we discussed the difference between noise and music, and I got them all to agree that ORGANIZATION is the main difference between the two. Keeping in mind that these kids are in 2nd grade, I figured this was an accomplishment in itself. I'm getting pretty good at telling when these kids "get it." And they definitely understood.

Now, my list of "things I wish I'd learned in music school" is ever-expanding. And some knowledge of children's development might come in handy at this point in my (very short) teaching career. But I'm learning by trial and error, and I'm constantly fascinated just by watching what my younger kids (in 2nd grade) and older kids (in 4th through 6th grades) can and cannot do. The way each of them learns so differently, and how they process information constantly fascinates me. I have the advantage of only having eight of them (at most) at one time, so I feel like I am getting to know them pretty well.

Now, to frame this a bit: These are kids in an inner city charter school in Camden, NJ. Camden isn't really a place that anyone goes, and is a pretty textbook example of "urban decay." While I think that Camden is seeing a new day, it is still the most crime and poverty ridden place I've ever been. These kids are pretty tough for only being 2nd graders. But they are sweet, and good kids overall. I tend to be fairly strict with them, but I try to keep my sense of humor intact. Like most people, if you show them respect and follow through with your threats, they seem to respond pretty well.

So I took 8 of them outside while the other four had their violin lesson for a half an hour. I split them into two groups. So far, so good. The violins (all girls) were one group, and the cellos (three boys and one VERY bossy girl) in the other. Their assignment was to work with their group and create some music. They could sing or use rhythm and anything on the playground area, but I wanted to see good group skills and communication.

After a few minutes of observing them, it became apparent that some leadership needed to be put in place. The violins didn't need it so much, but the cellos were obviously having authority issues. The worst of them was K., who is a very smart kid, but obviously has some behavior problems. So I decided that instead of taking responsibility away from him, I gave him more. He became the cello group leader. This worked for a little while...

The violins stayed on their side of the playground coming up with a great routine. One or the other would periodically run over and ask me something.

"Can we do stomping?"
"Yes, that's a good way of showing the rhythm."
"What about climbing up the ladder and.... etc. etc."
"Sure, just don't hurt yourself and make sure that it is all while keeping a steady beat."

But while they were busy with that, I spent a lot of time mediating for the cellos. K., according to the others, didn't want to listen to other people's ideas. He, of course, said that they weren't listening to him. They had no discernible work done, and at one point, I looked over and M. was on the slide, upside down or something. I called him over and gave him a stern talking to about group work and needing to contribute. M. is a really smart kid, but he has the social skills of a toad. He won't look you in the eye, and I think if someone doesn't straighten him out, he's going to turn into a real pain in about a year or two. I told him that sometimes you have to go along with what other people want if you're outnumbered, but next time maybe he would be the leader and would get his say. But I explained that you can't sabotage a performance just because you don't like the leadership.* J., the bossy girl, could only holler about how M. wouldn't do anything the other three agreed on, and all he wanted to do was rap. L. was just trying to make everyone get along, without much success.

I left to check on the girls who were working out the logistics of chorus line kicks with a steady tempo.

I went back to the cellos. M. was again on the slide. J. and L. were yelling about how bossy K. was, and K. had a look of defeat on his face. It was an incredible chorus of "he said she said." If they could have done it with a steady beat, it actually would have made great performance art, but I wasn't about to try to explain that.

We went over to hear the violins perform. There was stomping, clapping, a steady beat, and choreography that was actually pretty sophisticated. It even ended with a flip. I was proud of them, and they seemed pleased with themselves.

The cellos didn't perform anything because they couldn't even agree on what to do. All of them were visibly annoyed with the others. I did have a really good talk with K. about how sometimes its not easy to be the leader. Overall, though, he did try really hard to do the right thing. He just didn't really have the right circumstances. I was proud of him for trying. And I learned at that point that giving him more responsibility will help to keep his behavior under control.

M... geez, I don't know. He had his hands balled up with dirt to throw at the girls when they were done performing for (in his words) "ammunition." That was the only time I really lost it, and I could see the fear/guilt in his eyes when I looked at him and said, "Drop it NOW. You know better that to try to get that past me."

All this only took up 1/2 hour. But I learned all I needed to know and just let them play for the remainder of the time. I knew that this would be an experiment, and it isn't as though I had terribly high hopes for this exercise. I wanted to see how they'd do in a group situation, and I learned a ton about each kid, especially the cello players, from this exercise. I'm not upset or bummed that it didn't work. Sure, next time, we'll stay inside and say "do-ta-da-ta" for an hour, but it probably won't be nearly as illuminating for me.

*I think some professionals I know could probably stand to hear this lesson again.

Surefire ways to make it on my "No" list

2008-04-05T11:14:00.003-04:00

As a matter of self-preservation, I think most freelancers have "no" list. As in, "If ______ ever calls me again, I will not play the gig under any circumstances." I think there are only about three people on my list right now, but it is soon to be four.

I could list some of the heinous behaviors that help a conductor make it onto my "no" list, but it could be summed up quickly like this: Truly Unprofessional Behavior.

I'm playing a musical this week at one of the arts schools in town. This is a school that doesn't have much of a classical music program, thus, they have no horn players (or bassoons or violins) to speak of and they end up hiring people for their yearly musical. This year happens to be the Sondheim show "Into the Woods." Its not a bad show, but it is long and a little tedious when you have to play it six or seven times in a week.

One of the things I like about playing shows (also opera and ballet-- basically anything in an orchestra pit) is that there are so many things going on. When it goes well, it is just a train that keeps on chugging along like the Little Engine That Could. When everyone involved knows what they're doing and how to make it happen, three hours in an orchestra pit can be almost pleasant and sometimes downright fun. A great deal of camaraderie and lighthearted shenanigans can keep things amusing, and the whole experience doesn't have to be like a bad trip to the dentist.

Do I need to tell you that this production is not one of those pleasant, fun experiences?

Last night, I witnessed a conductor have a total breakdown on the podium. Now, there was a lot of crap happening on stage. (Sidebar: I can't see anything that's happening onstage, so I just have to guess what's happening from the missed cues and frustrated looks of the conductor.) Actors were missing cues right and left, there were a few dropped lines, and I think that one or two of them might be getting sick. (That's the only justification I have for the INCREDIBLY flat singing that was happening in one or two tunes.)

But as we all know, in theatre, SHIT HAPPENS.

But when a conductor starts to get so frustrated and angry that he begins to take it out on the orchestra who, consequently, have nothing to do with the shitshow that's raining down on the stage, I just can't handle it. In a big production, we all know our place (or should, anyway.) My job is to play the notes, follow the cues, and not get too lost in the Metro Crossword during my tacets. The conductor's job is to take it all in stride and not get so angry that he starts missing cues, shouting at the cast from the pit, and stomping his foot to make the tempo happen the way HE wants it to. He also started apologizing when he would get angry and miss cues, thus causing him to miss more cues. It all just started snowballing last night from the opening number, and things didn't improve at all in the first act. The second act was a little better, but only in that I wasn't contemplating what would happen if I just left.

And one final benchmark of this individual's inept-ness: At just about every intermission, he announces his faults and promises to fix them. Last night, we did get an apology for his tantrums and a promise that he would calm down. The previous night, we got a promise that he would be "super clear" in the second act. And I wouldn't mind those admissions if I actually had any reason to believe them. His heart is in the right place, and he knows that he's not helping anything. But then his job is to fix it. Empty promises are just that to me: empty.

This conductor really is a nice man, but for the pittance I am making on this gig, last night he graduated to my "no" list. As in, when he calls next time, I'm busy. I might be busy sitting at home watching season five of "The Wire," wallowing in the fact that I have no money, but I'm definitely too busy to play the show.

You Never Know Who's Listening

2008-03-15T23:16:00.002-04:00

Tonight, this guy was at my gig. Turns out, his wife is a singer at this place, so he was coming to hear her sing. I'm glad I sounded good. I introduced myself and hope I'll get a lesson at some point when he's in town again.

Just goes to show that you should always play your best-- you never know who's going to be sitting in the audience of an otherwise normal gig.

Esoteric Horn Videos from YouTube

2008-03-15T14:06:00.002-04:00

Every once in awhile, when I'm trying to waste time, I go to YouTube and type in "French Horn" just to see what turns up. I just keep clicking on related links and sometimes I find some real gems. Like this one-- nothing makes people want to come into your store more than the glorious sound of the horn.

And then there is this somewhat esoteric, possibly edgy "French Horn in the Dark" video. You don't need to go very far in before you get the point. I just don't quite understand why you would post video of yourself playing in the dark. Its the mystery of it all that keeps me giggling.

And then there is this one. Again, you don't need to go too far before you get the point. Perhaps I should quit playing and just do stuff like this on gigs. I think it'd go over well.

No Child Left....

2008-03-11T21:50:00.002-04:00

I went to teach my kids in Camden on Monday. Now, since it is an after school program, I don't expect them to be completely quiet and angelic, but usually, their rowdiness is in check to SOME degree.

Monday was different, though. From the moment they walked in the door, they were Satan's Spawn. All of them. Even the "good kids" had no attention spans to speak of and all they seemed willing and or able to do was be rowdy. They couldn't hold their attention spans for even the easiest activities and I couldn't figure out why.

About half way through the first class I found out, though, that they had been doing standardized testing for almost the entire day. I felt like a lightbulb had gone on over my head. At least at this point I realized that it wasn't me, I wasn't going crazy, and I hadn't suddenly lost the control I thought I had over the classroom. Well, I had lost control, but it wasn't my fault.

And I don't want to say that at this point I "gave up" on teaching them. But at least I could understand that the demands made on their fourth grade brains that day didn't really allow any extras to discern the finer intricacies of rhythm dictation.

They have testing all week, so I expect that tomorrow will be no different. If any of you have any suggestions for games that I might play or other activities for tomorrow's classes, I'd welcome them. I have a few ideas (thanks, AB!) but they won't fill an hour. Even if it is only remotely related to music, rhythm, steady beat, etc., anything y'all got would be helpful.

Du Da Ta

2008-03-03T19:52:00.002-05:00

Apparently I'm a teacher now.

You can add "teaching," or more specifically, "how to control a classroom," to the ever expanding list of things I wish I'd learned in music school.

But its good. For those of you who haven't heard about this yet, I'm teaching music fundamentals to a small group of 4th - 6th graders in a charter school in Camden. It is part of an after-school pilot program that is run by one of the orchestras of which I am a member. The kids spend an hour in their instrument lesson and then an hour in their "theory" class. So I teach the same class to two different groups of kids on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. They are learning cello and violin, and they are fantastic kids.

I didn't really know what I was getting into, though. "Music theory?" I thought. "Crap." I suddenly wished I'd paid a little more attention when I was approached about taking this job. But it turns out, "Music Fundamentals" would be a better description of what I teach. These kids are learning rhythm and note names. Without a piano in the classroom, it is difficult to start teaching pitch, but we're making due as best we can.

With help from A., a close friend who is an elementary music teacher, I have been teaching all sorts of stuff that I wish had been taught to me in this manner. I have a serious sense of pride that all my kids can do rhythmic dictation and can read both treble and bass clef with a fair amount of fluency. The kids are great-- they are interested, smart, funny kids, and I only ever have to teach six (at most) at one time. I don't think I could handle 30 of them, but six is more than enough for now.

I'm learning how to teach-- every lesson I learn something new that I need to explain differently. I'm learning what works and what doesn't work. I learned quickly that you have to change things up pretty fast to keep their attention, and that you really have to lay down the law about discipline. But they're responding, and learning. It feels good.

One of my main problems with a lot of "outreach" is that I am not convinced that we are actually "educating the audiences of tomorrow" with any of it. Don't get me wrong-- I think it is important to educate kids in the humanities if only to make them better "world citizens." And I don't suppose I'll ever really know the long term implications of showing kids a horn and how it works. Who knows, maybe one of those kids will actually be inspired to play an instrument because they came to a kiddie show, or had one imposed on them in school.

But this weekend, I actually witnessed how educational programs are supposed to work.

The orchestra has about fifteen kids signed up for after school string lessons. The symphony offered free tickets to the students in the program AND their families to our concert on Friday night. Four of them came, with their families, and in class today, they were buzzing about it. The kids were genuinely excited about the experience. They remembered that the storm movement of Beethoven Six was something we discussed and listened to in class last week. They talked about their favorite parts of the concert-- some liked the pianist best, but one of them was really into the new piece we played. And one of the string teachers told me that two of the girls had been so inspired by the concert that they had gone home and practiced extra hard for their lessons today.

Forgive me, Reader(s), for my overwhelming sense of accomplishment right now. THIS IS THE POINT OF EDUCATION PROGRAMS. We took four kids from an underprivileged, under served population, gave them string instruments, and tried to show them that classical music can be fun and relevant. You will all have to forgive me for being overjoyed in knowing that it actually worked.

Do I think these kids will be professional musicians? Who knows? But Janae said, "I want to practice a lot so I can do that!" And Marco said, "We feel like its our orchestra because all of our teachers are in it and we get to see you play!"

These kids live in Camden, one of the poorest and most dangerous cities in America. I don't pretend to know what their lives are like outside of their music lessons. I don't even try to guess most of the time. I know that when I go to Camden, I'm pretty happy when I get to leave, which causes me some guilt that is probably worthy of some self-exploration in another blog post.

But I finally feel like I'm making a difference.

"You wanna kill a president?" boom Doo Daa Dat...

2008-02-22T13:00:00.003-05:00

Any of you who has played the Sondheim Musical "Assasins" will recognize the title of this post from the recurring motive in the opening of the show. I had the pleasure of subbing in for a few performances of Assasins at one of the small theatres here in Philly a few months ago. It was a good time, a great production, and a fun group of people.

For those not "in the know," Assassins is a Steven Sondheim production about the people who have attempted (successfully or unsuccessfully) to kill a President. There are a lot of guns in this show, as you might guess. In the production I did, there were a lot of very real looking guns. But then, this was at a theatre, not a production at a university or other institution. And yeah, the material is a little heavy-- it is about a human desire for power and everyone's right to be happy, no matter the cost.

But it really isn't any heavier than an episode of Law and Order. Or any gun-related story on the front page of the Philadelphia Inquirer on any given day. Not to mention the obvious fact that people are SINGING. No matter how heavy it is, you still have to remember that they are SINGING.

But it looks like the administration over at the University of Arkansas took a healthy dose of stupid pills today. I was pretty shocked by this headline on ArtsJournal: "University Bans Performance of Sonheim's Assassins." This is the most ridiculous thing I've heard of in awhile. Even if you don't read the whole thing, here's the gist: The University of Arkansas has banned a performance of Assassins because they don't think the audience will be able to distinguish between fake guns and real guns. This, my dear Reader(s), is the best part:

Nicholson said that the decision did not limit artistic expression, noting that the president’s statement included his support for artistic freedom. She said she did not know if any of the officials who made the decision had ever seen a production of Assassins, but said that they were concerned about the gunshots that are part of the play and might be heard outside the auditorium.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but isn't this the definition of "limiting artistic expression?"

They are singing. Come on. Singing.

I love a good art heist story

2008-02-11T13:50:00.001-05:00

There's something sort of romantic and fanciful about the concept of stealing great works of art. Now, to be clear, I don't condone the act of taking that which is not yours to take. But whenever I hear a story of art thievery, it really catches my imagination. Perhaps it is the fact that stealing electronics just seems so OBVIOUS. Scratch off any serial numbers and it is tough to prove that you're moving stolen goods. It is easy to put a price value on a big screen tv or a computer. But fine art is something that is worth millions because of its uniqueness and brilliance. Stealing a one-of-a-kind Monet, Degas, Cezanne, and Van Gogh.... It is just so incredible.

Its not like there's a serial number. As mentioned in the article, these works will either be recovered very quickly or not for a very long time. And who is going to be able to enjoy them? Some rich person might acquire them for an obscene amount of money on the black market, but who can they brag to?

Perhaps I've watched The Thomas Crown Affair one too many times. Or perhaps I just like the idea that someone thinks that art is worth taking, even when the risk is so high.

A dream come true...?

2008-02-05T15:40:00.000-05:00

Its not a stretch to say that we have all had some sort of anxiety dream at some point in our lives. Whether it was a dream that you showed up late for a test, or were performing at the high school talent show naked, these events seem to illicit odd feelings in our subconscious. Auditions are no exception.

I only wish that the following is a dream that I had, but since I don't play the bass and I'm not preparing for the NY Phil audition in a few months, I could never have drummed this out of my subconscious mind. So this is sort of a "guest post" from J.

***

In my dream the NY Phil is doing a reality show to go with the bass auditions. (Something to do with creating "more media presence.") Thus I find out that the auditions are being "produced" "by the creators (you guessed it) of American Idol." For whatever reason the auditions are local. Although I can recall both Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell being on the committee the whole thing has more of a Project Runway type feel to it.

You see, with all the auditionees waiting around a guy (a show host as well as the audition proctor it turns out) comes in, not too old, kind of "Theaterish" wearing all black, hipster glasses, kind of teddy-bear figured, obviously a little effeminate and wearing some kind of hat; (what I imagine a young Tim Gunn, the mentor/instructor from Project Runway could have been like if he was a little fatter, he obviously had the Tim Gunn role for this production.) This guy in his effeminate reality show voice explains to us that in the first round the panel would like to see what our rhythm is like, so we will be doing some tap dancing for them. (To recreate this imagine a guy saying this in a friendly, yet condescending way with a lisp and the voice sharply rising in pitch on the word "tapdancing.") There is certainly some confusion from the various bass players attending the audition as I'm sure most of were thinking that many of the excerpts provided were a good test of rhythm. I know I was.

Now, in the dream I don't really remember performing my tap routine, but I kind of recall watching it (whether or not this was a emotional trauma-induced out of body experience or just me watching it on a tv is unclear.) I was wearing a leotard and had a hat and a cane, like many a tap dancer perform with. The leotard was about as flattering in my dream as you would expect it would be in reality, as was the tap dancing.

Later, I am sitting on the street with two friends having lunch. I have a bad feeling about how my routine went, seeing as I was never trained as a fucking tap dancer. One cue our Tim Gunn-esque host/proctor appears with and says in that condescending, ingratiating sort of way "While the committee all agreed that that your routine had a certain "flair" to it, unfortunately your rhythm just didn't cut it."

At this point I can recall feeling really upset. I mean, I had just practiced excerpts for months on end, only to show up to an audition and tap dance. In my dream I was angry in that quiet way, to the point where I am clearly doing everything I can to hold back the tears. At this point I snap. I grab my big photocopied book of excerpts and run down the street towards the hall. I run in through the stage door, turn left towards the stage and as I get to those big doors that separate the backstage from the lobby the proctor-host guy is standing right there. We look each other in the eye and he is kind of shocked and he clearly knows what is going on, and he's scared. He tries to tell me that I can't go in there, but I deke him out/blow by him run on to the stage. I can remember hoping that I would dramatically interrupt someone else's audition (thus creating a moment that would go down in reality-television infamy) but they are clearly also on lunch, there is only one guy sitting in the audience, who I seem to recognize as an actual NewYork Phil musician, and he is eating a sandwich so I run right off the edge of the stage and right up to him and get in his face. Shaking my big book of excerpts menacingly I yell angrily "Motherfucking tapdancing!?"

Sadly before I can kick any one's ass I woke up.

I don't know who to vote for either.

2008-02-04T12:46:00.000-05:00

I am trying to keep this blog from getting political. I mostly want to write about music, the life of the freelancer, and the politics of music. But I just can't resist posting this article from Salon.com that I thought was great.

Should I vote for Clinton or Obama?

You have GOT to be kidding me.

2008-02-01T09:20:00.001-05:00

I have to say, I enjoy that gmail has those targeted ads. If nothing else, I get a kick out of seeing how something I have typed in my emails has been interpreted by some algorithm in cyberspace. I tend to get a lot of yoga, horn, and recipe-type ads. This one, however, cracked me up.

Click here to see what gmail seems to think I need for my horn!

The Biomechanics of it All

2008-01-31T18:32:00.000-05:00

Hi Reader(s)!

I suppose I could have updated you on the last months of goings on. The thing is, I haven't been doing much. Well, that's not true. I had a great trip up North and another short visit to the A2 (that's Ann Arbor, for those not in the know). But I haven't been working. There is something to be said for freelancing: I just took a month off. Granted, I didn't make any money, but that was my choice, and I'm happy I made it.

Now, what I really wanted to blog about, though, is about how very little musicians seem to know or understand about our bodies. The thing is, we spend all day making interesting and difficult demands on our bodies in order to pursue music, but yet, most of us know so very little! Those of you who know me know that I've been through a very difficult odyssey in the past year dealing with an embouchure injury and resulting problems in my playing. But besides that, I'm beginning to wish they had some sort of "Anatomy for Musicians" classes at Universities!

I managed to rotate one of my vertebrae, which is attached to a rib, which makes it hurt when I breathe. (At least, that's what I understood from the physical therapist today.) He fixed it! It was pretty incredible, actually. I've got most of my range of motion back and can actually breathe enough to play. The more contact I've had with physical therapists, the more in awe of them I am! I know that I've ranted about this on my old blog, but the topic still fascinates me: How did I get this far without knowing some of this stuff?

I think it would have been great to have more practical knowledge presented as an undergrad or in graduate school. A very basic anatomy class that teaches HOW our bodies function to play our instruments could be REALLY helpful! How many of us have had to deal with a tension issue of some sort? For brass and woodwind players, how many of us really understand how the respiratory system works? And the arms? We all use those! And how about injury prevention? I can name more than five of my close friends who have suffered with some sort of tendonitis, and not just string players! Repetitive stress injuries have probably touched all of us at some point or another.

I'd be interested to hear what y'all think about this idea. Would information like that have helped you at some point in your career? How do you think it would be best presented? Personally, I think that a basic course could address most of the needs of the orchestral instruments. While cellists might not be so interested in lung capacity, I'm sure that horn players aren't as interested in left hand bow muscles. But a little cross-instrumental understanding might be an added bonus! What kinds of medical/physical information would you want to know? Please comment, I'm really interested!

January

2008-01-02T21:24:00.000-05:00

Now, y'all know that I'm not really into holidays. But I do like the introspection that New Years often brings. I like thinking about the year past and figuring out how this year might be better.

Frankly, I'm thrilled that 2007 is over. Good riddance, I say. I haven't really thought of any resolutions I want to make, per say, but I sure hope that 2008 doesn't suck. So here's my resolution, I guess: "Make 2008 not suck." Eloquent, I know.

I don't have much going on, and I'm taking off for Calgary for a few weeks, so the posts might be few and far between. January is slow for work anyway, I figured I might as well just skip town. Even though I've turned a few things down in the past few days, I still don't regret leaving. After the holiday rush, the time away should be fun.

Before I check out, though, check out this post from my friend Spot. I couldn't agree more.

Freelancing tip du jour

2007-12-21T17:12:00.000-05:00

Hi!

Sorry for the lack of blogging as of late. I've been busy with typical holiday freelancing stuff. Nutcracker, Sleigh Ride, a few education shows here and there.... Nothing really worth writing home about. Nothing worth blogging about either. (Obviously.)

But I did have one thing happen to me today that I thought was worth mentioning.

I was puttering around the house this morning, wearing typical "I'm not planning on going out clothing" and not looking terribly sharp. I realized that I had to drop some music off at the Kimmel Center for a colleague, though, and also wanted to pick up a CD for my grandmother for Christmas. Important background to the story is that the CD I was picking up was a recent release from a notable organization in town that I subbed with back in the fall. A limited press recording was made of the concert, and my gram likes show tunes, so I figured it'd be a good Christmas gift.

Now, before I left the house, I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I looked like a schlub. I didn't really think it was too big a deal, but decided to change into jeans that didn't have holes in the knees and a shirt that wasn't grubby, falling apart, and old.

That was a good decision.

Turns out, the guy handling CD sales is in the education department for the Philly Pops and the Philadelphia Orchestra. I have been trying to get involved with some of their outreach programs, but have never managed to be in town when they were interviewing, etc. etc. Apparently my name came up in a conversation recently since they are trying to expand their program!

At any rate, I don't know if any of this will pan out in the spring or not. I expressed my interest in the program and chatted with this gentleman a bit, not necessarily trying to make a "good impression," but definitely trying to show my enthusiasm for the projects that they have going. (My enthusiasm is genuine-- I'm not just trying to hustle for a gig.)

As I left the office, CD in hand, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had put in the three minutes of effort necessary to make myself presentable.

I guess that this is the equivalent of an overbearing mother telling her children to "always wear clean underwear because you might be in a car accident and what would the EMTs think if you were wearing dirty undies?" (I always like to think that they'd be more worried about saving my life than about the condition of my clothes, but anyway....)

So, Reader(s), the moral of the story is: Wear a clean shirt. You never know who you're going to run into.

Don't mess up. Jesus is listening. And He's counting your cacks.

2007-12-08T12:50:00.000-05:00

I'm playing a "Jesus Band" gig this week. You know the type-- lots of contemporary Christian Michael W. Smith tunes with poor quasi-Hollywood-esque orchestrations. The orchestra isn't bad. It's made up of freelancers and filled out with members of the congregation. In the case of the horns, this isn't too bad, although I'm fairly certain that the fourth horn player doesn't know how to do much more than HOLD the horn. But that's okay. Its in the spirit of this organization that everyone who wants to, gets to. Granted, that doesn't mean that it isn't pretty lucrative for those of us who are doing it for money... But that's not my point.

I have a saying... "I won't get worked up for less than $100/service." And it works pretty well. You want me to play contemporary Christian tunes for $90/service? Okay. But I'm not going to spend a lot of my emotional energy on it. Unfortunately, the "freelancer" sitting next to me doesn't seem to prescribe to my "benign apathy" approach to gigs like this. Now, I always try to be as professional as I can while still keeping a pretty good sense of humor about it all. And I can tell that this person, (lets call her "Q." to protect her identity) really wanted me to get upset about the various injustices of badly orchestrated contemporary Christian music. Perhaps this would somehow validate her complaints if I, as the principal player, would go along with her.

Lemme tell ya, Reader(s), I just can't do it. I tried to be as polite as possible, but a few times, I ended up giving her a dull stare. I just can't complain about the size of the notes. Nor can I really muster up any indignation about the poor page turns. I don't really care that we go through just about every key and modulation possible in the first tune. And I just can't pretend. I just can't get worked up for less that $100/service.

Now, there are a few long sections of this show that do not involve the horns. So I just do what I normally do. In a pit situation, I'd be fumbling through crosswords. During this show, I can discreetly put a magazine on my stand and no one but the choir members behind me will know the difference. Q, however, asked me before we started if I know how to play chess. She pulled one of those tiny magnetic chess boards out of her pocket. Thankfully for me, I don't know enough about the game to play. So she turned to the 3rd horn player and asked her. I saw the 3rd horn shake her head "no." Now, Reader(s), I don't really know what happened next. At some point, however, the two of them decided that it would be good if Q TAUGHT THE THIRD HORN PLAYER HOW TO PLAY CHESS DURING THE CONCERT.

I really did my best to ignore it, but you all know how well a whisper can carry. I really didn't want to be the one to shush them. But when I saw a trumpet player turn around to see who was talking, I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell them to be quiet. They both got that guilty look on their faces. They knew full well that they shouldn't have been doing that. Also note that they are about twice my age and REALLY SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

I wish I could say that they sat their with their hands folded in their laps for the rest of the show. But instead, they decided to play tic-tac-toe. This was far better as it does not involve the longwinded explanations of chess strategy. But they were passing the paper back and forth between each other. Not a big deal, right? Well, it isn't a big deal until we get to the modal arrangement of Greensleeves that involves strings and one horn. (That would be me.) Now, when someone is trying to play a solo, even a relatively easy one, right next to me, I generally try to sink into the floor. Playing the horn is hard enough without distractions in the peripheral vision. And I generally find that most horn players subscribe to this.

Not these two. They kept right on passing the paper back and forth, rustling, occasionally whispering.... yup. They really were THAT rude, right after I had to tell them to shut up during their rousing game of chess. Although they did curb their chess playing during the second night, they didn't stop their various tic-tac-toe matches. I decided to keep my mouth shut about this and treat it as "adversity training." I know that I have to work on my concentration skills anyway, so I might as well use this opportunity.

AND ANOTHER THING!!

2007-11-29T10:03:00.000-05:00

Regarding the "Holiday Concert" programming--

Do we really need to have the obligatory "Chanukah Medley?" Are we fooling anyone into thinking that this holiday is about anything but Christmas trees and Christmas Carols and Three Wise Men and a baby Jesus? In this instance, it is a concert of all Christmas tunes, and ONE four-minute piece about Chanukah.

I will be as up front as possible so as not to offend anyone: I'm not really sure if I believe in God or not. So I can hardly claim Christmas as "my" holiday. But I REALLY can't claim any of the Jewish holidays. So if any of you are Jewish, I would be interested in your take on this. Does the Chanukah medley make Jews feel included, or is it more of a trite insult? Do you feel more like this is a nice gesture on the part of the frenzied Christmastime masses to make you feel better about not getting any gifts on December 25th, or is this like a bad consolation prize that leaves you feeling pissed off? Is this just something we Christian-types do to make OURSELVES feel better? Has political correctness just gone a little too far?

I think if you're going to do a true "Holiday" concert (versus "Christmas" concert) then you need to include more than the Nutcracker Suite, Sleigh Ride, the Carol Singalong, and a Chanukah tune. Or maybe we could just do away with the idiom all together.

But how would I make my money, then?

It ain't Christmas 'til...

2007-11-29T09:57:00.000-05:00

I play Leroy Anderson's "Sleigh Ride" at least three times. And that is a modest number, methinks. Last night was the first read of the season.

J and I were discussing why people like Leroy Anderson tunes so much-- Sleigh Ride, Bugler's Holiday, and the Christmas Medley. The best I can come up with is not an original idea. I played Bugler's Holiday with a group a few years ago and their maestro said something to the effect of, "Now, tell me if this isn't the HAPPIEST tune you'll ever hear." And I really couldn't argue with that. I think the same holds true for these overplayed Christmastime medleys. I have to constantly remind myself that the people in the audience are NOT playing Sleigh Ride for the fifth time in two weeks. They're hearing it for the first time since last year. Hey, I play Mahler 5 once a year and I still like it. I think I can let the people enjoy Sleigh Ride once a year without rolling my eyes.

At least this week.

Speaking of taxes

2007-11-28T10:51:00.000-05:00

Its a long and drawn out story, my Christmas Eve struggles this year. I won't get into exactly how it turned out this way, but I thought for about 2 hours that I was going to have to play the most lucrative night of the year for free. It's no one's fault, really, though I think I'd be completely within my jurisdiction to blame a choir director. Laying blame doesn't really get anyone anywhere, though. The bottom line is that I figured it out.

Remember, Reader(s), that any time you play for a church, it is a non-profit organization. And remember that when you play for FREE, it is considered a fully tax-deductible charitable donation. Get a receipt from the church where it happened and hand it over to your accountant*. Keep in mind, as a freelancer your income is often self-employment income, so you will be taxed DOUBLY as an employer and employee. (Even though you are just one person... it doesn't seem fair, does it?) Take your deductions wherever you can, whether it is your Starbucks receipts or your "charity."

And a word to the wise: If an ill choir director calls you from a hospital bed the day before Thanksgiving nearly begging you to find a brass group for his Christmas Eve service and promises you a reasonable fee, trust your gut. If you think this guy is full of crap, he probably is. Get it in writing before you go contracting your colleagues. Never take a gig from someone who is highly medicated. Oh, and if it seems too easy and too good to be true, it probably is.

*I'm sure some of you thrifty do-it-yourself-ers out there do your taxes yourself. Frankly, I place a high price on my time and sanity, so I pay someone else to do it. Kudos to those of you who spend an evening in early April pulling your hair out and making sense of it. I just can't bear it.

"Great!"

2007-11-27T20:02:00.001-05:00

We've all heard the usual stuff from your average church choir member:

"Thanks so much for playing, it sounds beautiful!"
"We're so glad you're here!"
"I played the horn in high school!"

That last one is certainly not exclusive to the church choir crowd. I hear it on subways, walking down the street, in the CVS... One time, I had an elderly black woman say to me,

"You play the French horn? You must be pretty special..." She gave me that knowing-black-lady nod. That was nice. At least I could giggle at that one. "I don't know about that," I replied modestly.

But the old, "I played horn in high school!" comment is one that I never know how to respond to.
"Great!" (?)

Or even better is, "I played the tuba in high school!"

Well now we don't have anything in common. Best response: "Great!" (?)

I know that people are just trying to connect with you on some level. Many of them have very fond memories of high school band and are looking for someone who might be able to relate. So I just smile and say, "Great!"

But last week at a church gig in Haddonfield, New Jersey, I had an elderly man come up to me and say, "I'm partial to women with short brown hair who play the French horn."

Um... Okay? How was I supposed to respond to that? Was this 70 year old man with white hairs coming out of all the orifices in his head trying to pick me up? I smiled and sort of froze because I didn't know what to say. Something told me that "Great!" might not cut it for this one.

"I met my wife in college and she was a horn player too! She looked a lot like you back then!" he continued, obviously happy to tell me about how he had been married to his wife for over 40 years, but he'd met her in band when she was playing the French horn.

Whew. At least this story had a point. I did know how to respond after all.

"Wow. That's great!"

Welcome!

2007-11-27T18:30:00.000-05:00

Hello, Reader(s)!

Welcome to Brass Tax! I originally came up with the idea of the name "Brass Tax" in reference to the phrase "Getting down to the brass tax," meaning "getting down to the nitty gritty." Lets clear out the garbage and get down to the facts! I wanted to dissect and examine the crazy business of music and tell the stories of the basic stupidity I encounter on a regular basis. But upon further reading of the wikipedia entry, I realized the extra meaning:

It is also argued that the idiom is derived from the "Brass Tax of 1854". When the makers of clothing, shoes, instruments, tools, etc. that required brass would gather the materials and count up the cost, accounting for the brass tax was the last - and most expensive - step. Therefore the phrase "get down to brass tax" could mean to get to the last and final thing, or to get past the formalities and get down to the crux of the matter.

It is also noteworthy that the tax, in addition to creating revenue for the government, led to a sharp increase in the cost of many instruments. Tubas, trumpets, cornets, French horns, and other popular brass instruments gave way to flutes, piccolos, clarinets and oboes as the more affordable woodwind instruments' popularity skyrocketed. Evidence of this is most notable when examining Civil War marching music which relies heavily on the beating of percussion instruments and melodies from the woodwind family. Brass instruments are noticeably absent.

So there you have it. Brass Tax. Aren't I clever?